Educator.LearningSpecialist.FamilyCoach.Father.Husband.
ExecutivefunctionisliketheCEOofthebrain.It’sinchargeofmakingsurethingsgetdone.Whenkidshaveissueswithexecutivefunctioning,anytaskthatrequiresplanning,organization,memory,timemanagementandflexiblethinkingbecomesachallenge.Themoreyouknowaboutthechallenges,thebetteryou’llbeabletohelpyourchildbuildherexecutiveskillsandmanagethedifficulties.
Screensareeverywhereinthemodernworld.Butspendingtoomuchtimelookingatscreenscanbeharmfultoyourchildren’seyes,bodiesandminds.
Settinglimitsregardingscreentimecanprotectyourchild’shealthandhelpthemliveabalanced,happylife.Therearemanytoolstolimitwhattypesofcontentyourchildcanaccessandforhowlong.Teachingyourchildhowtointeractappropriatelywithdigitalmediawillalsohelpthemstaysafewhilelivingamodernlife.
Limitingyourchild’sscreentimewillimprovemanyaspectsoftheirlife.
EnforcingScreenTime
Therearemanytoolsavailabletohelpparentsenforcescreentimelimitsandcontentrestrictionsfortheirchildren.
Apple’siOSdevicescomewithabuilt-inScreenTimeapplicationyoucanusetorestrictaccesstoage-inappropriatecontent,settimelimitsforspecificapps,andscheduleblackouttimesduringwhichnoappscanbeaccessed.Youcanalsoreviewhowmuchtimeyourchildhasbeenontheirdeviceoverthepastsevendays,includingwhichappstheyusedandforhowlong.
Touseit:
ThisfeaturecanbesecuredwithaScreenTimepasscodesothatyourchildcannotchangethesettingswithoutyourpermission.
Thisappallowsparentaccountstoremotelylocktheirchildren’sdevices,settimelimitsforeachapp,andschedulea“bedtime”forchilddevicestoensurethedevicecannotbeusedpastthattime.Italsoallowsyoutoviewdataonyourchild’sappactivity,includingdaily,weekly,andmonthlyreports.
Toinstallit:
Touseit,youwillneedtopairyoursmartphonetotheNintendoaccountyouwanttomanage.
Youwillthenbeabletosetwhatevertimeorcontentlimitsyouseefitfromthesmartphoneapp.
ManysmartTVshavebuilt-inparentalcontrolsystems,butmostonlyoffercontentrestrictionfeatureswithouttheabilitytosetlimitsforscreentime.
Googleproductsaretheexception.GoogleTVsandGoogleChromecastdevicesbothofferchildren’sprofileswiththeabilitytolimitscreentime.
Youwillbepromptedtosetscreen-timelimitsandotherparametersduringtheprofileset-upprocesswhencreatingachildren’sprofile.Youcanthenchangetheseparametersatanytimeusingtheaccount’s“Settings”menu.
Theprocessforsettingupcomputerscreen-timelimitationsdependsonwhichoperatingsystem(OS)yourchild’scomputerisrunningon.
Childrendonotalwaysconsidertheconsequencesoftheiractionswhileonline.Teachyourchildhowdifficultitistodeletesomethingthathasbeenpublishedonline.
Whataretherecommendedguidelinesforscreentime
Recommendedguidelinesforscreentimevaryaccordingtoage.Pediatriciansrecommendnoscreentimeforchildrenunder18monthsbutdonotsetfirmlimitsforchildrenover6.Consultthechartaboveformoredetailedinformation.
Whatisanormalamountofscreentime
Childrenbetweentheagesof8and18average7.5hoursofscreentimeeachday,notincludingtimespentdoinghomework.However,thisissignificantlymorescreentimethanrecommendedbyexperts.
Asaparent,whenkidsmakemistakes,letthemrealizewhatlessonstheylearnedfromtheirmistakes,whatdidtheexperiencereallyteachthem,andwhattheywilldodifferentlynexttime.
Wearenotperfect,wefail,wemakemistakes,thisisthereality,wecannotprotectourchildrenfromthis,butwecanteachthemtodealwithit,todealwiththeirmistakesintherightandhealthyway.Letthemknowthatyoudonotexpectthemtobeperfect.Letthemknowyoulovethemnomatterwhat,yourloveisunconditional.Shareyourstoriesaboutyourmistakestoo,theconsequencesandhowyoulearnedfromthem.
CoachBenjaminMizrahi.Educator.LearningSpecialist.FamilyCoach.Father.Husband.
Giventhechancetoclimb,roll,crawlandjumpfreely,yourlittleexplorercanusetheirimaginationtocreateanythingtheywant.
Embracingamesscancomedowntodoingtwothingsatthesametime:Showingkidsthatweunderstandtheirdrivetomakemesseswhilealsoteachingthemthatthereisatimeandaplaceforeverything,includingmakingmesses.
Ifyou’reraisingachildwhohasADHD,youprobablyspendalotoftimefocusingonhisweakpoints—intentionallyornot.
Toensurethatyourchildishappyandwell-adjustednowand,inthefuture,—andtocreateatranquilhomeenvironment—you’vegottobeagreatparenttoachildwithADHD.Allittakesisafewsmalladjustmentstoyourparentingstrategiesandthewayyouinteractwithyourchild.
It’snoteasytoacceptthatthere’ssomethingatypicalaboutyourchild.Butachildwhosensestheirparents’resentment—andpessimismabouttheirprospects—isunlikelytodeveloptheself-esteemandcan-dospirithe’llneedinordertobecomeahappy,well-adjustedadult.
Forachildtofeelacceptedandsupported,heneedstofeelthathisparentshaveconfidenceinhisabilities.OnceparentslearntolookatthegiftsofADHD—thingslikeexceptionalenergy,creativity,andinterpersonalskills—theycanseetheshineinsidetheirchild.
Whileit’struethatyourchild’smindworksdifferently,hecertainlycanlearnandsucceedjustlikeanyotherchild.Justasadiabeticneedsinsulinandanasthmaticchildneedshelpbreathing,achildwithADHDneedstheirlearningenvironmentregulated.
Yourjobasaparentisnotto“cure”thelearningdisability,buttogiveyourchildthesocialandemotionaltoolstheyneedtoworkthroughchallenges.Inthelongrun,facingandovercomingachallengesuchasalearningdisabilitycanhelpyourchildgrowstrongerandmoreresilient.
Alwaysrememberthatthewayyoubehaveandrespondtochallengeshasabigimpactonyourchild.Agoodattitudewon’tsolvetheproblemsassociatedwithalearningdisability,butitcangiveyourchildhopeandconfidencethatthingscanimproveandthattheywilleventuallysucceed.
Childrencryformanydifferentreasons,theymaybefrustrated,hurtorwantattention.Whateverthereasonis,thewayyouasaparentreacttotheirdistresswillmakeanimpactonthemasahuman.Approachingsadnessandunhappinesswithloveandcompassionisthebestwaytogo.
1.It’sOKifyou’resad
2.You’resofrustrated!It’sokay,I’mhereforyou.
Yourchildmaynotbereadytoreachoutatthespecificmomentthatthey’reupset,differentpersonalitiesdealwithfeelingsindifferentways.Letthemknowthatyou’retherewhenthey’rereadytotalkgivesthemtheincentivetotalkabouttheirfeelingswhentheyareready.Somepeopleprefertothinkaboutwhatthey’vegonethroughandtalkaboutitlater,andsomeprefertodiscussthingsstraightaway.Acknowledgingthateitherwayisacceptablemakesthemfeelatease,andnotpressuredtotalkaboutthingsrightaway.
3.Whydon’twegooutforabreakandhavesomefun
Ifyourchildisfrustratedorcryingbecausehecouldn’tdosomethinghetried,thisisanexcellentwaytotakeatime-out.
4.“It’sokaytofeelthisway,baby.”
Ifyourchild’sdonesomethingwrongorhurthisfriend,he/shemaycrybecauseofguilt.Thisphraseisagoodwaytohelpthemprocessthoseemotions.
Thenexttimeyourchildisstrugglingwithanoverwhelmingfeeling,don’timmediatelyjumpto“stopcrying!”,havesomeoftheabovepositivephraseshandysoyoucanreactwithempathyandunderstanding.
Feelingsaren’tsomethingtobeavoided,they’reopportunitiesforconnection.
Attheendoftheday,wewanttoshowourchildrenthatwealwaysacceptthem.Whenthey’recalmANDwhenthey’reemotional.
Positivereinforcementisapowerfultoolthatcanhelpchildrenformgoodbehaviorhabits,whileminimizingnegativeoutburststhatgarnernegativeattention.
Positivereinforcementisaparentingtechniqueusedtoencourageobedienceandinculcatedesiredbehaviorwithouttheuseofpunishment,threat,abuse,shame,orhumiliation.Ifyouhaven’tgivenpositivereinforcementatry,herearesomeofthereasonswhyit’stimeyoushould.
Ayoungchildcantypicallycompleteafive-minutechorewithonlyoccasionalsupervision.Theaverageteenagercandoatask,withshortbreaks,foronetotwohours.ButforchildrenwithADHD,it’scompletelydifferent.TrythesetricksforincreasingfocusandattentioninyourchildwithADHDathome.
Breakschoolworkassignmentsintosmallsegments.It’seasierforkidswithADHDtodosixfive-minutechoresthantodoone30-minutechore.
Rewardyourchildwhenhefinishesatask.Givingyourchildsomethingtolookforwardtowillenergizehim.
Askyourchildtoestimatehowlongataskwilltake.Yourchildmaythinkitwilltakeanhourtodohismathhomework.Ifhefindsittookhimonly15minutes,hewillbepleasantlysurprised—andmuchlesslikelytoprocrastinatethenexttimehetacklesit.
Graduallyincreaseattention.Setatimerfortwotothreeminuteslongerthanthebaselinemeasurementandchallengeyourchildtokeepworkinguntilthetimerrings.
Bethere.Childrencansustainattentionlongerwhensomeoneisphysicallywiththem.Dohomeworktimeafamilyaffair.
Schedulemovementbreaks.KidswithADHDworkmoreefficientlywhentheyhaveregularopportunitiestogetupandmovearound.
Helphimvisualizetime.Devicesthatshowelapsedtimewillhelphimresethisfocuswhenitdriftsfromthetask.
Goodsocialskillsallowkidstoenjoybetterpeerrelationships.Makingfriendstakespractice,andyoucanhelpyourchildbyrehearsingsocialsituationsandroleplayingaheadoftime.Lookforteachablemomentswhereyoucanhelpyourkidsdobetter.
1.Sharing
Sharingisapartofdailylife.Thatdoesn’tmeanit’seasy!Awillingnesstoshareasnackorshareatoycangoalongwaytohelpingkidsmakeandkeepfriends.
Whenyou’reteachingchildrentheconceptofsharing,youcanteachdifferentthingsatdifferentagesandit’simportanttoconsiderthechild’sbraindevelopment.
2.FollowingDirections
Followingdirectionsbecomesparticularlyimportantonceyourchildentersintotheirschoolyears.
Thisishavingtheabilitytolisten,understandexpectations,andfollowthroughinatimelymanner.
Keepinmind,however,thatmulti-stepdirectionsarechallengingforyoungchildren.Tohelpthemdeveloptheabilitytofollowdirections,givethemonedirectionatatime.
Strategiestoteachfollowingdirections:
Playgamesforfollowingdirections,likeSimonSaysandFreeze.
3.MakingEyeContact
Goodeyecontactisanimportantpartofcommunication.Somekidsstruggletolookatthepersonthey’respeakingto.
Youmightevenshowyourchildrenhowitfeelstoholdaconversationwithsomeonewhoisn’tmakingeyecontact.
4.Patience
It’snormalforyoungchildrentobeimpatient.However,patiencereallyisoneofthemostrewardingsocialskillsforkids.It’simportanttorememberthateachchildhasadifferenttemperament,andtheylearnpatienceinvariousways.
Onestrategymightworkwellforonetoddler,itmaynotforanother,andthat’sokay.Thegoalistofindwhatworksforyourchildandutilizethosetechniquestohelpthemmanagesituationsthatrequirepatience.
Patienceisindeedavirtue!Byintroducingitnow,youcansetyourchilduptoreapthemanybenefitsofthisskillthroughouttheirlives.
Forexample:Practiceturn-takingwithboardgames.
Trytopracticeandpreparehimasmuchaspossibleateveryopportunity,beitdishingupatthetableorgettingintothecar.Ithelpswithhissocialskills.
5.UsingManners
Goodetiquetteandsocialmannersareessentiallifeskillsthatenhancethepersonal,socialandemotionaldevelopmentofeveryindividual.
Sayingpleaseandthankyouandusinggoodtablemannerscangoalongwaytowardhelpingyourchildgainattentionfortherightreasons.Teachers,otherparents,andotherkidswillrespectawell-manneredchild.
Themoreyourchildexperiencesthebenefitsofsocialskills,themoreintuitivetheseskillswillbecomeforthem.However,allchildrenlearnatdifferentrates.Withpractice(andpatience!),weknowthey’llgetthere.
Ifyourchildseemstobestrugglingwithsocialskillsmorethanotherkids,talktoyourpediatrician.Whileitmayjusttakealittleextrareinforcementandmaturitytocatchup,alackofsocialskillsalsocanbeasignofotherproblems.
Mostparentsyellattheirkidsatonetimeoranother.However,forsomeparents,yellingbecomesabadhabit.Yelling,bribesandthreatsmaybetheeasychoicetogetkidstolisten,buttheylistenfromfearinsteadoflearningtoobeyandrespectyouasaparent.
Teachingkidstobeobedientisnoteasybyanystretchoftheimagination,butwithalittlepatienceandeffort,itiscertainlypossible!Ifyouwanttogetahandleonyourchild’sunresponsiveness,thefirstthingyouneedtodoisfigureoutWHYheisNOTlistening.Often,hislackofresponseisaSYMPTOM,nottheactualproblem.
It’snotenoughtojustbearoundyourkids.Youmustbepresent,thatmeansputtingawayyourphone.Yourchildrendeservephone-freetimefromyou.
Thefactthatnomatterwhatwedo,ourchildrenwillfollow.Parentingtechniqueshaveevolvedfromspendinghigh-qualitytimewithourkids;talkingwiththemandplayingwiththem,intodistractingthemwithascreenassoonastheyshowthefirstsignofdistress.
Aswestrugglewiththehighdemandsoftoday’sfast-pacedlife,weasparentsoftenfindourselvestoooverwhelmedtobecompletelycapableofcateringtoourchildren’sneeds.
Becauseofthis,weoftenresorttotheconvenienceofaphoneortablettooccupytheirceaselessimaginations.Thoughsometimesuseful,ourchoicetointroduceouryoungonestotechnologysoearlyoncouldbehurtingthemfarmorethanithelpsus.Everytimeweputaphonescreeninfrontofourchild,wepushthemastepfurtherintodevelopingadependencyonanexternalsourcefor“happiness”and“contentment.”
So,trytolimityourdependenceonyoursmartphoneasmuchaspossible.Makeupsomerulesthatgiveyouphone-freetime—thatgiveyourkidsphone.Andmakesurethatwhenyou’rewiththem,youaregratefulforthemomentyou’regettingwiththem.