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2024.04.04北京
活过甲子不懂恋爱，真是可悲！圣人曰食色，性也。喜爱美好的东西，是本性使然。问世间情为何物，直叫人生死相许？
以你心换我心，始知相爱情深。
HowToCourtAWoman21WaysToBeATrueGentleman如何向女人求爱？成为真正绅士的21种方法
Havingclarityaboutyourintentionswithawomanisimportant.Tellherwhatyouneedfromthisrelationship.Themoreclarityyouhaveonthis,thebettertheoutcomeofyourcourtship.Thisiswhyyouneedtokeepcommunicationlinesopen.Don’tjustcourtabeautifulgirlwithoutknowingwhatyouwantormakingthingscleartoher.Itisimportanttobetransparentthroughouttheprocess.Don’tletthewomanassumethatyouaretakingthingscasuallyandthenendupchattingwiththewoman’sparentsaboutmarriage,tohercompletesurprise.Throughoutthecourtship,keeplettingherknowhowseriousyouareaboutherandthatalifelongcommitmentiswhatyouarelookingforwithher.明确你对女人的意图很重要。告诉她你需要从这段关系中得到什么。你对此越清楚，你的求爱结果就越好。这就是为什么您需要保持通信线路畅通的原因。不要只是在不知道自己想要什么或向她说明清楚的情况下向一个美丽的女孩求爱。在整个过程中保持透明是很重要的。不要让女人以为你是随便拿东西，然后最后和女人的父母聊起了婚姻，这让她完全惊讶。在整个求爱过程中，不断让她知道你对她的认真程度，以及你对她的终生承诺。
Itiseasytounderstandthequalitieswewishtohaveinourbetterhalf,butitisevenmoreimportantforyoutobeawareofthedirectionofyourownlife.Workonyourself.Themoreyouareintouchwithyourself,themoreyouwillbeintouchwithyourlove.
Howtocourtawomanisnotjustaboutestablishingarapportorcamaraderiebetweenyoutwo.Itisalsoaboutslowlyweavingyourselfintoherlife,andlettingherbeapartofyours.Trytospendtimewithherfriendsandfamilytoo.Humansaresocialbeings,andourpersonalitiesreflectinthekindofpeoplewesurroundourselveswith.Thislogicdictatesthatyounotjustmakeanefforttogettoknowyourpotentialpartnerbutalsothoseclosesttoher.
Thisdoesn’tmeanthatyoushowuptomeetthewoman’sfatheronthethirddate.Buttrytoaccompanyherasadatetoweddings,orgooutformovieswithherandherfriends.MaybeevengetinvolvedinherreligiouscircleswhereshespendsalotofhertimeItisimportantduringcourtshiptoknowthepeopleyouwillbemeetingregularlyastherelationshipprogressesandseehowtheyareinagroupsetting.Familiarizeyourselfwithherinnercircle.Notinanintrusivemanner,buttobeinvolvedinherlife.
Butifyouwanttostartcourtingalady,knowthatthingsaregoingtobeverydifferent.Theemphasisisnotonsex.Inthevariouscourtshipstages,sexcomesmuchlater.Theinitialstagesareallaboutdevelopinganemotionalintimacywithoneanother.
Thisisthecourtingawomanmeaningveryfewknowanditisverylogical,isn’titForyoutobeabletofindonecompatiblepartner,youneedtobeasinvolvedaspossibleintheprocesswithoneperson.Youwishtobeacompatiblematchwiththeminthefuture,rightHereiswhatyouneedtodo:
Ontheotherhand,ifyouarenotabletodoanyofthesethings,chancesarethatyouhavelostinterest.Andthatisokay.Ifcourtshipisnotworkingoutwelloryouhavealreadyfiguredoutthatthetwoofyouareincompatible,behonestwithheraboutitandendthecourtshiponacleannote.
Breakingupwithsomeonewhiledatingisquitecommon,andsometimesacourtshipmayhavetoendaswell.Butitisnottheendoftheworldthatyoudidnotfindalifetimecommitmentinthisperson.Takeyourtimetogaugeyourpartnerwhilecourting,andifsheisn’ttheidealoneforyou,lookforsomeoneelse.
Thisonecanbemissinginafewcourtships,especiallyiftheindividualsliveawayfromhome,butinthatcase,youcanmakeitworkonFacetime!Involvingtheparentsissomethingthatcomesatalaterstage,afteratleastafewmonthsofcourting.Butyouneedtorememberthatacourtshipisalsoaboutfamilies;it’sessentialforboththefamiliestoapproveoftheotherpartnerforsmoothsailing.
10.MakeyourpartnerfeelsecureOneofthemostimportantthingsinanyrelationshipisensuringthatbothpartnersfeelsecurewithoneanother.Arealgentlemanmakessurehisgirlfriendishappyinarelationshipandtriestoletgoofminorissues,justlikeshewould.Hetriestoensurethathispartneriscomfortablebeingherselfandfeelsappreciatedatalltimes.
Cometothinkofit,womenandmenbothlongforsomeonetomakethemfeelsosafethattheycanleaninandsurrenderandshowtheirtrueselves.Sotrytobethatpersonforyourwoman,especiallyifyouwanttobeinaseriouscommitmentwithher.
WhatImeanbythisisbeabsolutelyhonestwiththewomanyouwanttocourt.Don’tfoolaroundorplayhardtoget.Textingherbacklateonpurpose,ordeliberatelytellingheraboutothergirlswhohitonyou—it’sacompleteno-no.Makeyourvisionabouttherelationshipcleartoher.
But,but,butdon’tscareheroffbyimmediatelyhintingatalife20yearsintothefuture.Takeitslowandeventuallyletherknowwhatyouarelookingfor.Ifthetwoofyouwantdifferentthings,don’tbedisheartened;youwillfindtherightonewithtime.
13.KnowthedifferencesofcourtingthenandnowHowtocourtawomantodaylooksverydifferentfromitusedtoyearsago.AsIhavealreadymentioned,somepeopleviewcourtshipasathingreservedforreligiouspeopleorsomethingthatmoreconservativepeopleindulgein.Thisistotallynotthecase.Youdon’thavetowaittillmarriagetokissorhavesexforreligiousreasons,youcanmodernizeitaftertalkingtoyourpartneraboutwhatsheiscomfortablewith.Tocourtsomeonetodayisamixofmodernvalueswitholdertraditions.
Splitthebills:Ifyoutwohaveadynamicwhereyoualwayssplitthebill,thendothat.Andifonepersonearnsconsiderablymorethantheother,thentheycanpayformoredates.Simple.Practiceequityandequalityinyourrelationshipanddonotbeoverbearing
Don’tbecontrolling:Onceyoubothhavespentalotoftimecourtingeachother,itmightbenaturalforyoutofeeljealousaroundtheotherguyswhoknowher,orifsherunsintoaworkcolleagueandhugshimwhenyoutwoareinapublicplace.Becoolinthesesituationsandunderstandthatshehasalifeandfriendsoutsideofyou
Donotbeegotistical:Thiswilldriveawomanawayinstantly.Evenifyoufindoutthatsheisondatingapps,explainyourconcernandhurttoherinakindmanner.Donotberudeandactlikeyouownher.Conveyyourdisappointmentbutputyouregoaside
Haveyoueveraskedyourself,whatiscourtingInthisfast-pacedworld,everythingmovessofast.So,ifyou’renotmovingatthespeedoflight,you’regoingtobeleftbehind.Thisiswhywhenitcomestorelationships,datingseemstobethenorminsteadofcourting.
Youhearbothtermswhenyou’reinthedatingworld,butisonereallybetterthantheotherIt’snolongernewsthathookupshavebecomethenorm,especiallynowinthemoderndatingera.
Andhonestly,themorecommonswiping,casualdating,orhookingupbecomes,thelessthereisaneedforcourtship.Thisalsogoesfordatingapps,onlinedating,speeddating,andthelike.
Thedeeperwegetintocasualdating,thelesscourtshipwesee.However,thatdoesn’tmeanit’sgonealtogether.Dependingontheculture,therearestillsomecountriesandlocationsthathighlypracticecourtship.
Backwhenthemodernhookupculturewasn’tathing,therewasnotechnologytomakethingseasier.Evenaswesaythattechnologywasinventedtomakeourlivesmoreconvenient,thatisn’talwaysthecase.
Thesedays,technologyhascompletelyreduceddirecthumaninteraction.It’sbecomesobadthatmanypeoplegetananxietyattackjustlisteningtotheirphonering!
Andwhenitcomestodating,insteadofgoingovertoagirl’splaceandpersonallyaskingheroutonadate,wenowhavetextsandappsforthat.
SodoesthatmeantheartofcourtingwomenisdeadAbsolutelynot.Therearestillafewgallantmenand,let’sjustsay,modestwomenouttherewhoprefertotakethingslowandslowbeforetheyfinallysettleintoarelationship.
Therearesomanywomenthatwanttobecourted,butitcanbefrustratingtowantsomethingthatisrare.However,courtingisdefinitelynotdead.Therearestillguysouttherewhocourtwomenandwooherinhopesofgettingherheartbeforemovingontosomethingserious.
So,whatiscourting,andhowcananyguywhohasn’tdoneiteverwooagirlCheckoutthisguideonhowtocourtagirlandthe23waystowooherrightifcourtingissomethingyou’reinterestedin.
Courtingisanoldartofdatingthatconsistedoftwopeoplenotgoingon“dates”butlookingforamateforlife.
Itwasn’tlikelookingforsomeoneonadatingappwhereyouwanttofindsomeonetohangoutwithonalonelySaturdaynight.Itwasawayofdatingsomeonethatmeantyoursolepurposewasto“court”someonetomarry.Whenpeoplewouldcourt,marryingusedtobethesolegoalofmeetingeachother,notsex!
Inanalmostlong-forgottenpast,probablythetimeofyourgrandparentsortheirparentsandgrandparents,courtingwasseriousbusiness.Infact,veryserious.
Whenamansawawomanheliked,hewouldn’tgostraightuptoaskherout.First,he’dgotoherparentsorguardianandaskpermissiontocourther.
Whenhegetsapproval,that’swhencourtingofficiallystarts,whereinthemancalledonthewoman,camebyherhouseforavisit,andbroughtherflowers.Thiswouldgoonandonastheygettoknoweachother—aprocessthatcouldgoonformonths,evenyears!
Simplyput,courtingisaperiodinarelationshipthatprecedesengagementandmarriage.Itisaphasewherepeoplegettoknoweachotherbetterbeforetakingtherelationshiptothenextlevel.Therefore,courtshipisdonewhenaguyissurethepersonhewantstocourtissomeonetobuildaseriousandenduringrelationshipwith.
Thesedays,however,thisisrarelydone.Especiallysincesomanypeoplenowadaysfearcommitment,courtshipisnolongerthefirstthingthatcomestomind.
ButcanyoublameanyoneDatingappsareaplenty,therearemoredatingpotentialsthanyoucandateinalifetime!AndYOLO,right!Howcananyoneknowforsurethatthepersonthey’respendingyearscourtingistheonetheyreallywanttospendtherestoftheirliveswithanyway[Read:Howtowooagirlandmakeherfallforyou]
Whencomparingthetwo,datingtakeslesseffort,whichiswhyit’smorecommonofthetwo.Youcan’tcourtsomeoneifyoudon’tseeanythingseriouswiththemorifthereisn’tafutureyousee.Ifyou’reasking,whatiscourtingorwhyit’ssohard,youneedtoknowthatittakesalotofcommitmentanddedication.
Ifallyou’replanningtodoistohaveacasualrelationshipwitheachother,courtshipisn’ttheway.“Whybuythecowwhenyoucangetthemilkforfree”Youmayhaveheardyourgrandmatellyouthismanytimes.Andthissayingholdstrueifyouwanttodifferentiatebetweendatingandcourting.Whenyou’redating,youdon’thavetoworkanymore.
Youdon’tevenhavetobuythecowbecauseyouhavemilkanytimeyouwant.Andwiththis,milkmeansalotofthings,likesexorintimacy.However,thisisnottosaypeoplewhodatecasuallyautomaticallydroptheirpants—butyougetthedrift.[Read:Everymillennial’sguidetosurvivingthehookupculture]
Soallsaidanddone,whenitcomestocourting,youneedtorememberthatsexistotallyoutofthepicture.Youlookatotherrelationshipvaluestojudgeacompatiblepartner,insteadofgettingintobedwiththem.
Nowthatyouknowwhatiscourting,youmayrollyoureyesandwonderwhyanyonewouldpreferthatovercasualdatingandhookupswhenit’ssomuchmorefun!Buttherearemanypeoplewho’drathercourtthansleeparound,ordatemultiplepeople.
Let’sassumeyou’vebeendatingforagooddecadeofyourlife,you’vebeenmeetingatleastacoupleormorepeopleeveryweek,andyou’vebeenhookingupcasuallywheneveryou’vefeltlikeitaswell.It’sallwellandgood.Butafter10yearsofdating,you’vedatedhundreds,ifnotthousandsofpeople,andsleptwithmorepeoplethanyouevenremember.Butyouhaven’tfoundtheidealpartneryet.Andnowyou’rejadedandbored,sexfeelsthesamewitheveryoneandlovefeelslikealostcause,andyounowhatedatingbecauseinsteadofmakingyouhappy,itmakesyousad.
Forasecondscenario,nowlet’sconsidersomeonewho’sabitolder,mature,andexperiencedinlife.They’vebeenthereanddonethat,andtheydon’tfeellikehornybunniesanymore.They’remoreintointimacy,communication,andarealconnectionthanseeingsomeonenakedorhavingsexwiththem.
Whenyou’reyoungandhot-blooded,andjustwanttodropyourpantsateveryopportunityyouget,courtingmayseemliketheworstthingimaginable.Butwhenyouputsexinthebackseatandfocusonthethingsthatactuallymatterforabetterqualityoflife,likecompanionship,trust,respect,love,andcommunication,you’llseethatcourtinghasthepotentialtowinovercasualdatinganyday![Read:Whatmakesagoodrelationship30signsofanideallovelife]
We’llgettothebasicsofwhatcourtingis,andhowyoucancourtawomanorbecourtedbyaman,butfirst,let’stalkaboutallthereasonswhycourtingcanbebetter.Thesebenefitsoutlinewhycourtingisbetterforyouthandatingifyou’relookingforsomethingserious!
Whenlookingatcourtingasameanstofindtherightpersontogothroughlifewith,youwon’twasteyourtimewithsomeonewhoisn’tright.
Agreatwaytoweedthroughpotentialpartners,itisokaytopracticallyjudgesomeoneandsay“Idon’tthinkIcanseethispersonasmypartnerforlife”insteadofdatingthemorlettinginfatuationandsexcloudyouremotions.[Read:41conversationstartersforcoupleswhoaregettingserious]
Whenwedatesomeoneorhookupwiththem,wemayseeafewredflagsrightaway.Buteverysingletime,you’dchoosetooverlookitbecauseitisn’tworththinkingover,andyou’retotallysmittenbythemalready.Butthen,whenthecasualrelationshipdoesend,youcanseealltheredflagsclearlyandyouwonderwhyyouevendatedthispersoninthefirstplace!
Whenyou’retryingtocourtsomeoneorbecourtedbysomeone,everythingchanges.You’renotconfused,you’renotcompletelysmitten,you’repayingattentiontoeverysingledetailabouttheotherpersonandjudgingthemforitwithaclearhead.[Read:34ofthebiggestrelationshipredflagsmostpeopleignoreuntilit’stoolate]
Whenyoulookatameetoradateasaninterviewforyourmateforlife,youarealotpickieraboutwhoyouwillgooutwith.Adifferentattitudethanyoumustkissalotoffrogstofindyourprince.Ifyoudon’tfeelitrightoffthebat,youdon’ttrytomakeitfit.
Thinkaboutalltheopportunitiesyoumisswhenyou’recasuallydatingandjugglingbetweenmultiplepartners.Ifyouaredatingsomeonewhoyoudon’treallylikeforafewmonths,there’saverygoodchanceyou’remissingoutonanothergreatpersonwhomaybeperfectforyou.Butbecauseyou’resofocusedonnotbeinglonelytoday,youdon’tpayattentiontothethingsthatactuallymatteroverthelongterm.
Ifyougointodatingwithatraditionalcourtingnotion,youdon’tjumpinandoutoflove.Youdon’tmindstayingsingleforafewmonthsorevenafewyearsifthatmeansthechancetobuildrealrelationshipswithpeoplethatmatter.[Read:WhyamIsingleTheharshtruth,36reasonsandtheexcusesyouuse]
Insteadofhavingtobreakupwithabouttenpeoplewhetheritisatyourhandsortheirs,whenyoulookatdatinginacourtingmanner,youdon’thavethesameheartache.
YOutakeitslow,andifitdoesn’twork,youknowitisokaybecausetheysimplyweren’ttheonesyouweresupposedtolivelifewith.
Whenwedate,wemakeexcusesforredflagsthattellusthingsaren’tright.Theproblemis,thatlittlevoiceissupposedtopointusintherightdirection.
Whenyoudatecasuallyandliveinthemoment,itispossibletowakeuponedayandbesofarinwithoutreallythinkingitthroughthatyouaresimplygoingthroughthemotions.
Ontheotherhand,whenyoukeepinmindthateverypersonyougooutwith,youaredoingsotoformalifewiththem,thatinnervoiceismuchhardertoshutout.[Read:22bigearlywarningsignsofabadboyfriend]
Whenyoucourtsomeone,youwantthemtohaverespectforyouandtothinkofyouastheirpotentialmateforlife.Thatholdsyoutoahigherstandardthanifyouarejustdating.
Afterall,ifyoujustdate,whocaresifyousleepwiththemonthefirstdate,rightYoulosenothingifitdoesn’tworkout.If,however,youlookatyourtimetogetherasameanstoaforeverunion,thenyouarelesslikelytomakerashandimpulsivemoveslikecasualsexthatcouldruinyourchancesatalastingandmeaningfulrelationship.[Read:Realsoulmates–20signsyou’vemettheloveofyourlife]
Thereisnothingworsethanwakingupinarelationshipwhereyoumovedintogetherandlivingasifyouaremarriedforyears,butnothingofficialhashappened.Anultimatumisnotonlyatoughthingtomake,itoftendoesn’tworkinyourfavor.
Ifthingsprogressednaturallywithoutareal“plan”inaction,oryoumakeyourwishesknownlike“Iwantababyby30,”or“Iwon’tlivewithsomeoneunlessIhavearingonmyfinger,”youcanfindyourselfinarelationshipthatisgoingnowhere.
Bythen,youmayhavepassedyourprime,andyouhavenochoicebuttomovealongandstartover.
Theproblemmostrelationshipshaveistherearenoexpectationsabouthowthingsaresupposedtogoorwhateachresponsibilityis.Ifyouaren’thonestwithsomeoneaboutthelevelofcommitmentyouwantinarelationship,youcompromiseyourownneedsandwants.
Whenyoubeginarelationshipwithacourtingattitude,theneveryoneknowswhattheexpectationsare.Youaren’tjustwingingithopingtogetwhatyouwant,orwaitingaroundforsomeoneelsetodecidewhenthingsarerightorwhatyourfateis.[Read:19unrealisticexpectationsthatcanruinyourlovelife]
Whenyoucourtsomeone,everythingyoudocounts.Itisn’tasifyoucantreatsomeoneasiftheyaretemporaryuntilyoudecidetheyaresomeoneyouwanttobewith.
Youarealsolesslikelytodostupidthingsthatwillcomebacktobiteyou.Whencourting,youaren’tplayingthefieldhopingoneplayerstandsout,youknowwhoyourstarplayeris.Youalwaystreatthemwiththerespecttheydeserve,sonoresentmentorhurtfeelingsbuildwhenyouarereadytomakeacommitment.
Whyshouldn’tyoulookateverydateasthepotentialtogetmarriedAfterall,thespeciessurvivedbecausewearesupposedtofindmatestopairupwith,protecteachother,andhelpgetthroughthislife.
Courtingisawayoftreatingyourselfasifyouaregoodenoughtobesomeone’snumberoneupfront.Youaren’ttheirbootycall,ortheirlonelySaturdaynightdate.Youarethepersontheythinkisspecialenoughtoconsiderbeingwithforever.Don’tyoudeservethat[Read:Howtostandupforyourselfandgetwhatyouwantanddeserve]
Forpracticality,courtingisawaytonotbankruptyourselfemotionallyandeconomically.Whenyoudate,thereisthepotentialyouputoutawholelotoftimeandmoneyonsomeonewhoisonlygoingtobeinyourlifeforashortwhile.
Thebestwaytogoaboutfindingamateistomakesureyouinvestyourtimeandyourmoneywisely.Theworstthingiswatchingsomeonewalkawaywithallthejewelryyouboughtthem,allthewhileknowingtheyweren’ttherightone.
Whenyoumakeitknownyouarelookingforalong-termmateupfront,youarelesslikelytobetakenadvantageofallthewayaround.[Read:Whydopeoplebreakupevenifthey’restillinlove]
Courtingmeansyougointoeveryrelationshipasapotentialmateforlife.Notwastingyourtimeoncasualsex,ordatingsomeoneforawhiletoseewhatyouthink.
Itinvolvesbeingdiscriminatory,honestwithyourself,honestwitheachother,andhavingmorecommitmentwhenyouarewithsomeone.Anoldpractice,butperhapstheyknewsomethingbackthenthatwedidn’t.
Itisokaytowanttogetmarriedandtolookforsomeonetospendtherestofyourlifewith.Althoughnotacceptabletovoiceforfearofscaringsomeoneoff,iftheyweremeanttobewithyou,yourhonestywon’tscarethemoff,butcreateahigherlevelofrespectforyourcourtship.
Nowthatwe’veunderstoodwhatcourtingis,andhowitcanactuallybemorebeneficialforyouoverthelongterm,let’stakealookathowcourtingworks,andwhatyouneedtodo,asaguywhoiscourtingawoman.Whetheryoujustwanttobeallold-fashionedoragirlyoulikewantsyoutocourther,thenyoushouldknowthebasicsofcourting.
Unliketheambiguityofdating,courtingawomanmeansyoumustbeclear-cutaboutwhatexactlyyourintentionsare.Youtellawomanthatyoulikeherandwouldliketocourther.Yes,youmention“courting,”andshewilldefinitelyswoon!There’sabsolutelynoroomformixedsignalsorplayinggames.
Thisisjustoneoftheconcreteexamplesofwhatmakescourtingrefreshing,especiallywhenplayinggamescangetexhausting.SowhatdoesitmeantocourtsomeoneItmeansbeingcrystalclearwithyourintentions.[Read:12PrinceCharmingtraitsthat’llmakeeverygirlswoon]
Essentially,courtingisallaboutgettingtoknowthepersondeeperandbetter.Thetraditionalformalityaside,courtingisabouttwopeoplebecominggoodfriendsfirstbeforedecidingwhetherornotthey’retherightfit.
Ifyou’regenuinelywondering,whatiscourting,it’sseeingifbothofyouhavethechemistryandcompatibilitytobeinaseriousrelationship.It’sawayoftestingthewatersbeforegettingintoaseriousandcommittedrelationship.[Read:Questionstoaskagirltogettoknowherbetter–35waystoherheart]
Whilebeingallgoody-goodyatthisstagecancomeoffasphony,ithelpstobenotjustyourselfbutalsothebestversionofyourself.Soifyou’rewonderingwhatdoesitmeantocourtsomeone,it’sputtingyourbestfootforwardtoimpressthem.
Thisdoesn’tmeanyou’rebeingfakesomehow,butit’susingallyourtime,energy,andefforttoshowthemappreciationandlove.Thismeanstakingalittleextraeffortnottobeeasilyannoyedwhenthewaitermessesupyourordersonyourdate,orbeingmorethoughtfulaboutthethingsthewomanyou’recourtinglikesanddislikes.
Boundariesaresoimportantwhenitcomestocourting.Thereasonwhypeoplegenerallychoosedatingovercourtshipisthatyoucan’tsleepwithsomeone*yet*whenyou’recourtingthem.
Withdating,peopletendtobemoreintimatewitheachotherandtendtogotoofastintotherelationship.
Courtshipcreatesaboundarythatshouldn’tbecrossed.Anythingclosetomakingoutisnotallowed,andtwopeopleareoftenrestrictedtocompanionship.Soifyou’reaskingwhatdoesitmeantocourtsomeone,youneedtowaitforawhilebeforegettingintimatewiththemphysically.[Read:Timeonyourside–Whyyouneedtofollowthe90-dayrule]
It’snotuncommonforthoseinthedatingpartofarelationshiptonotpursuethenextlevelandfullycommittoeachother.Often,datingrelationshipsdon’treallylast.
However,withcourtingcouples,there’sasomewhatestablishedperiodwheretheyengageinthesameactivitiessimilartowhatdatingcouplesdo,suchasgoingout,meetingeachother’sfriends,andmanyotherthings.Youcan’tdo“casual”whenitcomestocourtingasyouneedtobereallyseriousaboutthem.
Courtshipoftenestablishesfriendshipfirstbetweentwopeoplebeforetheytakethingstothenextlevel.Soifyou’rewondering,whatiscourting,it’susingfriendshipasafoundationbeforegettingintoaseriousrelationship.
Sinceyou’renothavingsexorgettingintimatephysically,friendshipisthebestwaytogettoknowoneanotherincourtship.Friendshipgivesyouenoughchancejusttobetogether,bewhoyoureallyare,andjustgettoknoweachother.[Read:Newrelationshipadvicetohavethatperfectstart]
Contrarytowhatyoumaythink,courtingisnotthatold-fashioned.Therearestillmenandwomenwholiketocourtandbecourted.Ifyou’reoneofthese,thenreaduponthesetipsandhaveabetterchanceofmakingheryours.
Whileyoushouldrespecttheboundariesofcourtship,thisdoesn’tmeanyoucan’texpresshowattractedyouaretoher.Makeherfeelspecialwithcarefulandgenuinecompliments.Soifyou’rewonderingwhatdoesitmeantocourtsomeone,it’smakingherfeelattractive.Thisisoneofthemostcommonnotionsofwhatcourtingis.
Whileyoualsoputyourbestfootforwardwithdating,thepressureislessintensebecausethere’snoexpectationforcommitment.Sowhetherthat’ssurprisingherwithflowersorchocolates,it’sreallyuptoyou![Read:30sweetestgesturesyoucanusetowooagirl]
Nomatterwhatanyonesays,handwrittenletterswillalwaysberomantic.There’sjustsomethingaboutitwhenyouwriteyourfeelingsdownonpaperandexpresseverything.
Itmightbetraditional,butit’salsoincrediblyromantic.Getfancystationeryfromaspecialtypaperstoreandbrushoffthedustfromthoseballpointpensofyours.
Penyourthoughts,feelings,andaspirationsaboutyourbuddingrelationship.Youdon’thavetobeShakespeare,buteloquenceandsinceritybeat140-charactertweetsanytime.[Read:Howtowriteaheartfeltloveletterlikeatrueromantic]
Contrarytopopularbelief,chivalryisn’tdead.Courtingisallaboutchivalrysoifyou’rewonderingwhatdoesitmeantodatesomeone,it’sbeingchivalroustothem.Womenthesedaysaresojadedabouttheideaofmenbeingtheseknightsinshiningarmorthattheyarefinewithoutchivalry.
Infact,there’sthisneo-feministsinsidethemthatbelievestheydon’tneedamantogetthroughlife.Proveherwrong.Makeherbelievethatyou’redifferent.[Read:Howtobechivalrous–Thecodeofmodernchivalry]
Andbydate,wemeanjustthat—date.Takeheroutforlunch,dinner,awalkinthepark,anightatthemuseum,feedsomepigeons,andjustmakeeachtimeyouspendtogetherinteresting.Datingissoimportant,eventhoughwe’redifferentiatingcourtingfromdating.
Ifyou’reasking,whatiscourtingandhowisitanydifferent,youneedtodateherwithintention.Thismeansyou’renotjustcasuallygoingwiththeflowor“hangingout,”butyou’reseriousabouther.Thedifferenceofcourtingisthatyou’redatingherintendingtobeserious,notjusttohavefunorpassthetime.
Remember,don’texpectakiss,orevensomenookie,inreturnforeverythingyoudo.Whenyou’recourting,youdon’tdateherjusttogetinherpants—let’sgetthatstraight.Aguymayfinditreallyhardtocourtawomanbecausehefeelsentitledtoearnherheartorgetintobedwithherifhedoessomethingniceonce.Butthat’snothowcourtingworks.
Shecanfallforyou,butsometimes,shealsowon’t.Ifyouwanttoknowwhatitmeanstocourtsomeone,youneedtostopfeelingentitledtoherheart.Youshouldbedoingeverythingbecauseyougenuinelylikeher,notbecauseyouexpectanythinginreturn.[Read:18qualitiesofagoodmanthatsetshimapartfromlessermen]
Inaworldwhereinstantisnoteveninstantenoughforsome,courtingislikemovingyouuptherelationshipladderatasnail’space.Addtothatthemanythingsyoumustdoforthewomanyou’recourtingfirsttogettoknoweachother,buildtrust,showcommitment,andeventuallywinherheart.
Nowthatyouknowwhatcourtingis,rememberthatit’sawaytoshowheryourintentionsandsinceritythroughyouractions.
Courtingsomeone,unlikedating,meansyourintentionsforthemareserious.Youneedtobecommittedtowardsthem,andyoucan’tjustbedoingittohavefunorgetherhopesup.Also,thereareboundariestoobservewhencourtingsomeone.
Ifyou’reasking,whatiscourting,yourintentionsandsincerityaregenerallymoredirectthanjustdatingsomeone.Withthesetips,hopefully,youcanwooherandwinherheart!
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Whybuythecowwhenyoucangetthemilkforfree
如果能得到免费的牛奶,为什么要买牛何必舍易取难呢何必舍近求远呢